Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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