I'm really into asian looking animals
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize