She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
