the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
