I can tuck mytits in my pants
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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