In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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