I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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