i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
