Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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