Porn is love you can see.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
