Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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