Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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