How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
