cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
