This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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