i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
