Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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