Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
