Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
