my phone needs a breathalizer
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm too high and old for this...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
