How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
