I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
