Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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