Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
