Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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