Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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