I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
