On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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