i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
