I hate all girls vehemently.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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