why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
