There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
