You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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