dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize