Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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