I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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