He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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