11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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