did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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