My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
His nipple licking is glorious
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
