I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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