We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
