This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
