all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
