Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
