giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
