i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
