what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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