how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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