If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
