Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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