You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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