either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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