Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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