Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You smell like stripper and shame
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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