I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
