I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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