In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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