did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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