Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
