her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My cat gives me a boner
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You pole danced in your parka.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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