Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize