My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
