hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
