Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
