There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
