so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
