my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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