It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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