If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
