My nipple is on Facebook.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
