my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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