my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Semen is not good for contacts.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
