i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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