It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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