So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
