I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
