Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
