apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
