I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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