i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
