dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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