I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
