why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
