Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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