Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
