hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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